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September 12, 2005

I'm going to end up in bar fights

When you're already irritated, it's really irritating for someone to tell you why you're irritated.

The egg donation people called and told me to call this clinic, but the clinic didn't receive the records that were faxed in and then I had to call the egg donation people back and wait on hold, and then they asked me to spell my last name, which further annoyed me as they usually know who I am right away. I finally get on the phone with the right person, and I'm saying "Look, I shouldn't have to be doing this--"

She cut me off and told me I have zero estrogen right now and that's why I'm irritable (and hate the bitch at the Internet Garage, etc.) "Your estrogen's in the hopper," she said. "You'll feel better later."

I was startled. This, however, begs the question -- if this is the result of a lack of estrogen ... is this what guys feel like all the time? I think it might be. I have felt even-keeled, sort of laid-back but in control of everything, while prone to occasional outburts of anger.

Do you think I could have magically gained the ability to catch a football? Because I'm pretty sure I never have. I can't catch flying objects, ever, including that thing where someone tosses the car keys over the top of the car at you. I never catch them. Stop doing that.

Seriously, do you guys walk around this way all the time? Is there a possibility I could market hormonal cocktails as "gender empathy drugs," and everybody could take some drugs that made them feel like the other gender for a couple of days, and then we'd all get it? That would deserve a Nobel freaking Peace Prize.

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