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Sunday, January 30, 2005

accompanied by a photo of an old man dancing for his Alzheimers-stricken wife

"I couldn't stay home alone," Mr. Granger said. "My wife was my life. I just didn't know that until she died."

This is possibly the best article I've ever read in the Times, about cliques and outcasts and lunch-table romances in assisted living facilities.

Saturday, January 29, 2005

can you guess what my word of the day is?

I have previously expressed my love-in-the-penumbra of lust for Jon Stewart, and while that still holds true, as true as the day is long, I fear that Jon is slightly out of the penumbra of my reach.

I would like PJ Harvey to know that I would unreservedly go gay for her. Just FYI.

Also, PJ -- your cover of "Satisfaction" was great until Bjork jumped in and started singing like a five year old.

Friday, January 28, 2005

a little belated, but my bedroom is covered in magazines

Possibly the best headline ever, from neo-feminist mag Bust:

Bush Wins Man Date from God

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

The Strand is the shizzle dizzle.

The Strand is on their shit. I wrote to them about sponsoring the bee with prizes, and they called me back within an hour and are sending over a dozen t-shirts and tote bags.

spelling is so dreamy!

So, I've been doing some mad PR for the spelling bee, and we've been on NPR and listed in Time Out and the Sun and the Daily News and a bunch of other places.

At the bee last night, I asked where our new attendees had heard about us, and one group said "L Magazine." I replied "Oh, great, I sent them a press release!"

My friend from the spelling bee (who shall remain nameless) was puzzled when she heard this. Now, L Magazine is that small, free publication you pick up from boxes on the street; it's a hipster rag that covers the areas off the L train (E Village, LES, Williamsburg, etc.) However, my friend was confused because she was thinking of Elle magazine, a national fashion periodical for teenage girls. ("Jen sent a press release to Elle? And they wrote about the Williamsburg Spelling Bee? Next to the lip gloss reviews?")

Once we got this worked out, I spent the rest of the evening claiming to have sent press releases to Cosmogirl, Teen People, and Tiger Beat.

Monday, January 24, 2005

corporate lovesexy

Ha. Business 2.0 magazine interviewed Prince via email for an article called "Take Control of Your Intellectual Property," and they printed his responses as he wrote them -- for instance, "The industry is trying 2 change, but they r used 2 the old thinking."

One of the best ways 2 succeed in the music business (IMHO) is 2 get ur spiritual base 2gether first.

Sunday, January 23, 2005

This is how I always shop for frames. You should see me at Bed, Bath and Beyond.


A new photo by Merkurios Redis.

if you see a girl on the subway carting home printers...

I have an Epson Stylus C84 printer which originally cost $100, and came with a full set of ink cartridges. Replacing those ink cartridges retail costs something like $68 if I were to buy them all at once.

My printer, for whatever reason, possibly due to my use of non-Epson compatible cartridges, has stopped printing in color. It has therefore occurred to me that it might be superior to just buy a new printer altogether rather than try to replace this thing, and get new ink.

So then it occurred to me that I could maybe get a used printer, which, if it had ink, would totally be a steal.

After viewing the options on Craigslist, I think it would totally be cheaper to buy someone's old printer every time I run out of ink than it would be to ever buy a new ink cartridge.

I'm just going to run around town buying $20 printers half-full of ink.

Saturday, January 22, 2005

girls of the CUNY system

When I left my grad school orientation program today, I was provided with a goody bag containing some printed material, a t-shirt, and some other items I didn't bother to look through at the time. When I got home, I rifled through the bag and found a travel mug, a pen ... and a subscription card for various magazines, including Playboy. It took me a minute to remember that I had purchased a boxing magazine in the subway station and tucked the magazine into my goody bag; I concluded that apparently Boxing Digest and Playboy share a target market, and the card had fallen out of Boxing Digest. But then I saw that the top of the card was advertising "student discounts". So, I can get a deal on Playboy by virtue of my masters program!

Friday, January 21, 2005

plodding and hacking to 160, drinking tea, blogging

I have been informed by those in authority that I will have a book-length work of fiction at 160 pages. As of tonight, I am at 134. That basically means two more short stories before I print everything out and proceed to get very drunk.

Thursday, January 20, 2005

it's a good thing I can still get grits here in Harlem

Today's news -- I have sold my first-ever magazine article, and also, I had coffee with an old friend from high school who's now an actor here in the city. We talked about things we missed about the South -- for me, Southern food, and guys who bring around the car when it's raining. He misses his personal space; apparently, people bump into him all the time on the street.

Mmmn, personal space.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

those French (again)

I learned today that the plural of "faux pas" is still "faux pas", except when it's plural, you pronounce the "s."

Monday, January 17, 2005

the surreality of the Beatles being embodied by French twins

Tonight I went to a Beatles' cover album night at Arlene's Grocery and saw one band perform all of Revolver, and another perform all of Let it Be. I was delighted when Jonathan Trachtenberg and then Nellie McKay were brought out as special guests.

A friend of mine (one of the titular French twins) was in the second band, the highlight of which was a heartbreaking (and unexpectedly swanky) version of "The Long and Winding Road."

Weirdly, I'm up late writing a short story that happens to involve twins.

Sunday, January 16, 2005

I thought Howard Dean was in the house

I was checking in for the first session of my writing class today when I heard a bizarre, high-pitched shriek. And then a wail, and the noise of an adult man chirping!

The woman who was taking my payment looked nonplussed. She explained that the building also hosted an Apostolic church service for the deaf, and that the pastor was "very enthusiastic" and didn't really realize (or care) that he was making those noises.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

seeking NPR recording or transcript

There were a number of attendees at the spelling bee who heard about it on NPR. This is awesome, as it is a result of my sending a press release to NPR.

Apparently, NPR actually sent someone to a previous spelling bee (the last one was in November), and had inside information on the bee. Undercover NPR reporters are extremely exciting! I mean, possibly not in bed, but at a spelling bee, yes.

I cannot, however, find a transcript or recording of the bit about the spelling bee. It doesn't help that NYC is covered by no fewer than six NPR stations. My online searching is to no avail.

she also tried to sell me a set of false eyelashes

Last night on the train coming back from Billyburg, there was a homeless woman sleeping on the bench across from me. There were two other men on the train.

After many stops during which everyone was silent, the woman -- still prone on the bench -- shouted "The tsunami was a sign from God!" One of the men let out a groan, which incensed her. She went on to say that she predicted the tsunami two weeks before it happened, and that there would be another sign within the next four weeks, and that "I wish I were wrong, but I know I'm right!"

She repeated herself many times, and said something else that I didn't understand, possibly about the poor treatment of prostitutes, or about men treating women like prostitutes, and then, finally, after all this lying-down shouting, she sat up abruptly.

And ... it was Nora! Nora, the homeless woman I previously blogged about after buying jewelry from her at the Bedford St. L stop. This time, she had been sleeping on her bags full of jewelry cases.

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I wish I knew the ASCII code for that little Prince symbol

The other day on the way to the gym, I heard Prince's "Purple Rain" playing across the street. I couldn't tell if it was coming from the electronics store on the far side of Third Ave., or form the car parked in front of the store. Either way, I was delighted to see that the faded, outdated-typeface sign proclaimed the store's name to be "1987 Electronics."

While actually at the gym, I ran a mile in 11:14, which is faster than last time; one has to start somewhere. But let us still hope I don't get chased by bears. Or handicapped children, or angry snails.

Friday, January 7, 2005

I can't believe this references a Janet Jackson hit from 1989

The Spelling Bee is featured in today's New York Sun!


Click to read large version

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when they say "your local weather and models," actually, only the weather is local

If you check the weather on Sonic Weather, you'll find me as January 13th girl.

I didn't actually apply for this -- someone from the site wrote to ask permission to use my photo, and when I went to check out the site, I discovered I was already in the model gallery.

I'm partly cloudly with high winds and a chance of rain.

Thursday, January 6, 2005

Last night I dreamt about spelling

In preparation for the next spelling bee, I have written lyrics to a spelling bee theme song, which, hopefully, my co-emcee Bobby Blue will perform. It's to the tune of Madonna's "La Isla Bonita."

Todd can read in a Latvian accent

Last night I read my piece "Headless" (off my CD) at an Opium Magazine event at the Cornelia St. Cafe. The stars of the event were Susan Henderson and Todd Zuniga, who rarely publishes his work in his own magazine, but still, you can visit Opium here.

Yesterday, I received a telemarketing call from a confused woman who asked me "Do you speak Hispanic?"

Finally, here on the right is an unflattering but funny photo from my performance at Galapagos' "The Smut Show" in Williamsburg on Monday.

Wednesday, January 5, 2005

no problem, i live in an action film

Today, I had coffee with a writer for the Onion, and then, in an unrelated incident, learned from a neighbor that the former occupants of my apartment (as in, before I moved in) were (female) strippers.

This may be the most glamorous day ever. I feel I have been touched by fame and silicone.

Also, spelling bee co-emcee Bobby Blue has challenged me to write lyrics for a song about spelling, to which he would then write the music. I am also in the middle of no less than three books (by "in the middle" I mean "I have this idea I keep telling people about"), and have been asked to write a short screenplay for an action-film festival.

Monday, January 3, 2005

let's hope I don't get chased by bears

Today, for the first time in my life, I ran an entire mile without stopping. In eleven minutes and thirty-two seconds.

I know it's less than exemplary that it's taken me so long to do it -- at one point in college, I was working out five times a week, but I was lifting weights and boxing, not doing cardio. I could deadlift 145 lbs. but couldn't run around the block. When I was boxing, three three-minute rounds would leave me practically hyperventilating.

I have great biceps, but, it seems, lungs the size of lentils.

Sunday, January 2, 2005

clenching your fist for the ones like us

This holiday season, I made a Leonard Cohen mix CD for a friend who had never, to his knowledge, heard a Leonard Cohen song.

When he saw the title "Chelsea Hotel #2", he asked whether there had been a #1, which prompted me to do some digging.

In the Leonard's Greatest Hits (1997) album notes he says: "I wrote this for an American singer who died a while ago. She used to stay at the Chelsea, too. I began it at a bar in a Polynesian restaurant in Miami in 1971 and finished it in Asmara, Ethiopia just before the throne was overturned. Ron Cornelius helped me with a chord change in an earlier version."

In 1994, during a BBC radio interview, Cohen apologized for ever linking Janis Joplin's name to this song. He referred to it as: "the sole indiscretion in my professional life."

Apparently, there are lyrics to a sort-of Chelsea Hotel #1 floating around on the internet, but it's not a different song, it's just a not-as-good first draft. So just stick to hearing Leonard the way he wants you to hear him.

Obey Leonard Cohen!

and now i have my answer

A couple weeks ago, apropos to nothing in particular, I posted an anecdote entitled "Whatever happened to Monrovia van Hoose?"

I have since received an email from her fiance telling me that (well, obviously) she's getting married, and that she found my post very amusing.

In conclusion: great girl, not a lesbian, still selling an unwanted cemetary plot.
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