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August 11, 2007

Jen's Mideast Tour!

In case any of you thought my previous mentions of "Iraq" were a joke: they are not! I have an airline ticket to Frankfurt, and then Bahrain, and then Saudi Arabia, and so on and so forth. Lufthansa says so, and so does the Pentagon.

I am going on a Mideast tour, to entertain the troops, along with fellow comics Laura Rosenberg, Christina Lopez, and Chris Freeman. We shall be meeting up in Frankfurt, where I will exchange my hotpants for some kind of voluminous skirt before arriving in Riyadh.

If you are a member of the US military deployed in the Mideast and somehow viewing JenIsFamous through the firewall -- which would really make you some kind of incredible, porn-seeking computer hacker -- here is where you can see me:


August 17
Show in Saudi Arabia, Eskon Village


This is a badass flag. It has a sword on it. A sword for slaying infidels. I can't wait to secretly swear and blog about feminism from Saudi Arabia.

August 20-23
Shows in Iraq, Location TBD


This is the Iraqi flag. If you squint, the Arabic character second from left looks a little like an illustrated high heel from the cover of a Candace Bushnell novel.

August 25-27
Shows in Kuwait, Location TBD


Kuwait's flag looks a little like Italy's, but with a big black trapezoid. This reminds me of both pasta and geometry.

August 29
Show in Qatar, Auab

August 30
Show in Qatar, Assayliaha


This flag has teeth. And not much else.

September 1
Show in Djibouti, CP Lemonier


Djibouti is in Africa, and is also an Islamic nation, located right across the water from Saudi Arabia. Temperatures are expected to be well over a hundred. Plus, there are hot winds! There is nothing comical about this flag.

September 3-4
Shows in Bahrain, Location TBD


Look familiar? It's Qatar, with fewer teeth. Bahrain is a tiny island off the coast of Saudi Arabia. It is wealthy, hip, contains Michael Jackson's mansion, and is also where Saudis go to dance and screw.

That's it! Don't these guys look ready to laugh?



Hmmn -- maybe I'll tell my angry jokes.



Grr!

Maybe I should've had some pictures taken like this:



Except that I am incapable of smiling in a non-sarcastic way. And for some other reasons. But whatever.



Grr again!

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8 Comments:

Blogger Snake Oil Baron said...

"If you squint, the Arabic character second from left looks a little like an illustrated high heel from the cover of a Candace Bushnell novel."

Somehow I doubt anyone else has noticed this. Somehow I doubt anyone wants to notice this ;-) (Is the emotocon/smilie doodad lame now? It probably is if I am using it)

"There is nothing comical about this (the Djibouti) flag."

So... I am the only one to think it looks like a white swimsuit bottom on a girl with green and blue legs? There is no hope for me now is there?

"Maybe I should've had some pictures taken like this:

[Photo]

Except that I am incapable of smiling in a non-sarcastic way."


I have always thought that sexy photos are never realistic enough. An expression that make the statement of sarcasm would be very realistic. Sarcasm or disgust. But then maybe there is something to be said for delusions.

(Other reasons? Some kind of union regulations thing?)

8:57 PM  
Blogger Jay said...

Good luck Jen!

Don't get your boobs blown off by a landmine or something.

11:05 PM  
Anonymous hoverFrog said...

The Arabic character on the right looks a bit like a middle finger. Who wouldn't want a one finger salute on their national flag?

Have fun.

4:51 AM  
Anonymous Blair said...

I have a friend deployed to the Green Zone. While she cannot access certain pages from her "work" computer, she CAN access them from her personal machine. The firewall only applies to military computers. She regularlly accesses Yahoo! Messenger, LiveJournal, MySpace, and even YouTube. And none of it is on the "down low" as it were ("down low" as in secret, not down low as in black men who have sex with other black men but pretend to be straight).

The only problem is the line that she and her bunkmates use is 28.8k line. So hacking is not a neccesary skill -- what is needed is unlimited patience, waiting for all the graphics to load.

6:27 PM  
Anonymous hoverFrog said...

Is that what "down low" means? I never would've guessed.

4:18 AM  
Anonymous Blair said...

hoverfrog -- I learned that watching Law and Order: SVU (cue "The More You Know™" PSA theme).

It does call into question what R. Kelly meant in his song when he sang "Keep it on the down low. Nobody has to know."

1:36 PM  
Anonymous Todd Seavey said...

Be careful -- you know, in Saudi Arabia, it's not even legal to have Wonder Woman _comics_, let alone Wonder Woman costumes and blogs. Scary.

3:12 PM  
Anonymous hoverFrog said...

Law and Order is my only cultural anchor for North American life. Prior to airing Law and Order my cultural reference was Homicide: Life on the Street.

Munch is how I imagine all single, white American men.

7:07 AM  

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