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December 19, 2007

Misogynistic Advertising of the Week

I find this repulsive. I have no problem with wanting to look good naked, or with shows dedicated to that purpose. However, all of the women here are naked and terrified, and that gross, facelifted man is fully-dressed and hideously smug. I know he's gay, but I'm not any less repulsed. Gay men do not get a free pass to tell women to hate their bodies. Or -- as is apparently the case -- to pilfer clothing.

Certainly one could get across the message about looking good naked by picturing some attractive, lean, muscled men and women, perhaps the trainers who might help you look good naked. Only semi-repulsive might be an ad featuring both men and women looking terrified at the unattractiveness of their naked bodies. Also, all three of those women are way better-looking than creepy Botox-forehead-man. Maybe he needs a show called "How to Hide in Seclusion Until Your Plastic Surgery Relaxes."

Click to enlarge: "The intelligence you require, with the beauty you desire."

This I just find ... disappointing. The Blackberry Curve? It's ... curvy? It's both smart and beautiful, like a desirable woman you can put in your pocket and use to view miniature Excel spreadsheets? What? I think I'm more just disappointed that Blackberry thinks women don't want to buy Blackberries, and are best used as a trope for selling Blackberries to men.

Also, E = 36-24-36^2 is just stupid. If those were your measurements, your hips would be 1,296 inches around, which is equivalent to 108 feet. Also, your hips would be 36 times greater around than your bust, which is taking the pear shape to a bit of an extreme.

Blackberry: We're bad at math and think mini-computer-phones are like having sex!

Good work, guys.

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Anonymous Brian Dziura said...

How did you even find these ads? Did you leave the kitchen? If women keep leaving the kitchen how will all the dishes get done? Soon the world will be horribly cluttered by dirty dishes spilling out into the streets.

And who is going to clean that shit up? With no women in the kitchens cooking dinner the men will all be far too hungry to worry about the dishes in the streets.

Thus begins the demise of modern society. Nice job Jen.

7:35 PM  
Blogger Stevyn Colgan said...

Hi Jen - Steve Colgan over here in Merrie Ingerland. We have 'How to look good naked' over here ... I'm not sure which version came first but ours sounds very different. It's presented by a guy called Gok Wan and the show is hugely popular with men and women because Gok is such a damned good life coach. It's very empowering. And it's great to watch a woman who can't bear the sight of her own body transformed into a confident, happy woman without surgery, hypnotism or some made New Age mumbo-jumbo. Sounds like you need our version over there! Hey, happy holidays BTW!

4:27 PM  
Blogger Stevyn Colgan said...

Sigh ... Hi Jen and Happy Holidays from Merrie England. We have 'How to look good naked' over here too. Ours is presented by a guy called Gok Wan and he's becoming a national treasure. The shows are great TV as he's such a fantastic life coach. It's pretty awe-inspiring watching him change a women who can't bear the sight of herself in the mirror into a confident, happy lady without recourse to surgery or New Age bullshit. The show is all about self-esteem and worth ... with a bit of fashion advice thrown in. I don't know which came first, our version or yours ... but it sounds like you need ours!

4:34 PM  

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