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February 29, 2008

The Great Reformation (a.k.a. The 95 Theses of Pilates)

In response to this post, my brother has asked:
"Also, what the fuck is a Pilates Reformer? Am I to believe that Pilates was in some way corrupt and was in need of some improvement or amendment?"
This is a Pilates Reformer:
This is what happens when you graduate from the sad little point-your-toes-and-squeeze-your-abs mat class at the gym and go to a real Pilates studio that has invested in equipment.

This is Martin Luther, instigator of the Reformation:

Martin Luther didn't do Pilates.


On the Reformer, you can do this:


Or this:

Or this:

Or this:



Or this:

I'm pretty sure this one is Kim Basinger from 9 1/2 Weeks

All of which make a person feel very girly, just like a special snowflake, but none of which will make you look like this:


...which is accomplished by lifting a lot of heavy things (feel free to ask the model), generally with progressive resistance that can be quantified and tracked.

Not to say that a Pilates workout can't leave you exhausted and sore and sweaty. But Pilates instructors say they focus on the "inner" core muscles you can't even see; sure enough, in a Pilates studio featuring a big poster that said "REAL MEN DO PILATES," I was asked to do some very personal squeezing of some very personal muscles.

Do real men do Pilates? Sure, but I'm not sure even someone as Brave New World as I wants to strengthen her pelvic floor in a coed environment.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Brian Dziura said...

It looks very much like the Chuck Norris endorsed Total Gym set to a 0 degree incline; i.e. pansy level.

I bet it costs like 10 times as much though.

It's a workout that only causes changes "on the inside" and helps them to feel special and stuff. That's just adorable.

4:40 PM  
Blogger judy said...

Jen, you are stomping my pilates buzz! I just started last week and so far I like it. And boy, won't you be eating your words the next time I see you and I look just like that shiny model.

5:33 PM  

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