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I’m the sexy businesswoman

October 24, 2005

I’m going to appear in Playgirl, objectifying a male model.

All my hopes and dreams about this life have culminated in being paid to make a male model feel like a slab of beef.

Monday’s event: Comedy Show & Tell at Pete’s

October 24, 2005

Monday, October 24
7:30-9:00 pm
Pete’s Candy Store, 709 Lorimer St.
(L train to Lorimer – click for map)

Comedy Show & Tell mixes performances by top young comedians with actual, old-fashioned show and tell by audience members. To participate, bring a silly object to share and show up a few minutes early to get on the list. (Or, just come watch!)

Read a recap of the last show, with photos!

geeking out in my "What the f(x)?" t-shirt

October 24, 2005

Today I got up at 6:30am, cleaned my apartment, did some math problems, tutored a student on the Upper West Side at 9, tutored a student in midtown at 11, taught a class on the Upper East Side at 2, jetted to the West Village to feature in a comedy show at 5:40, booked it back up to the Upper West Side for my third tutoring student at 7:30, met a friend for dinner, and finally cabbed it back to East Harlem around 11.

Fun fact of the day: For polyhedrons, Euler’s Formula states that Vertices – Edges + Faces = 2.

bargain basement jen

October 23, 2005

I have a handful of Peeps shirts left, so I had someone help me list them on eBay.

Me, if I want to buy something, I want to know exactly how much it costs, and then I just want to buy it and be done with it. But apparently some people enjoy uncertainly, gambling, and waiting around. Oh, you crazy eBayers. Enjoy!

Each is dirt cheap and comes with a free button.

p.s. Thanks to all of you who’ve been buying Sarcastic Sex Toys.

About the Peeps (live from Chicks & Giggles)

an extra $96.44 divides out to $10.72 per egg

October 23, 2005

According to this weird little web survey, my blog is worth $7,903.56. Which is slightly less than the value of my eggs.

My blog is worth $7,903.56.
How much is your blog worth?

in case you haven’t seen me walking away, airbrushed

October 22, 2005

My posterior has been blogged by famed comics writer Warren Ellis. Long live Molly Crabapple.

the comedy news update

October 22, 2005

Tonight I had a tour of the Friars’ Club, and then did a guest spot at Dillon’s. My set went over well, and I gave some postcards to British businesspeople who thought I was funny. Now that I’m single, I resurrected my bit about ribbed-for-her-pleasure condoms. Always a good closer.

My cat is purring like a motherfucker. It’s a really aggressive form of affection. She is purring really, really loudly, standing in front of my computer, and occasionally biting my arm, which is not usually a problem except that this dress is silk.

Last night, at my show in Clifton, NJ, a guy at the bar bought me a drink right after I watched him order a veal parmesan for himself and demand an extra meatball for his dog.

magic! music! juggling!

October 22, 2005

I have a new Jenny Vaudeville poster, designed by Jamie Wolcott! (The blank part is where I put the details for each show).

he is not really Mexican, or a wrestler

October 21, 2005

Last week I went to see spelling bee co-emcee and founder bobbyblue’s band perform at Galapagos. When I got there, I was informed that host El Orangina needed a volunteer for a couple of comedy sketches, so I ended up on stage miming the purchase of Orangina from El Orangina, and then punching him for being inappropriately enthusiastic about my love for Orangina.

And here, in his Mexican wrestling mask, is El Orangina.

I, El Orangina, have recently won the Crazy 8’s scratch off lotto. With my $19 in winnings I have purchased a copy of the Passion of the Christ DVD…. With a title like The Passion, I thought, this is the kind of movie to be enjoyed alone at home on the big screen TV with, perhaps, a nice bottle of chianti. Oh, how wrong was I? First of all if you have not seen the movie, do not let me spoil it for you. Stop reading now, get yourself a box of Fig Newtons and rent the Love Boat the second season. The one where Julie falls in love. However, do not see this Passion. First of all, it is not what you are thinking. This Jesus fellow, all they do is torture him… This is not El Orangina, champion of Chalupa’s experience with passion.

are you a fireman?

October 21, 2005

Recently, I encouraged readers of this blog to join the Army so as to be able to attend my December 10th show at Fort Hamilton.

If you are not feeling like an army of one today, however, you might consider becoming a firefighter in Lafayette, New Jersey, where I will be performing at the Lafayette Firehouse on November 12th.

Um … stop, drop, and roll!

Announcing: $50 photo contest!

October 19, 2005

Comedian and blogger Jennifer Dziura is offering a $50 prize for the best photo of a person or persons reading Runners-up may receive merchandise at Jenisfamous’s discretion.

All persons pictured must be of legal age and must consent to appear in the photo. Any or all photos may be posted on at Jennifer Dziura’s discretion.

Email photos to (include your real name) by November 15, 2005.

Update: This post has been Gawkerized.

Update: Here are some entries I’ve received (nobody in their underwear yet!):

“I work at the Idaho Lottery. Powerball is HUGE today.
But I need a release sometimes. I choose you.
$50 could really soften the blow of not being able
to participate in the run for $340 million.”
- Jennifer Gelband

Martin in Bryant Park

Hernan Duran and friends

Marcos Alonso
(This one just screams “European tourist.” I love it! -Jen)

J.D. Finch

wouldn’t you love to see her molars?

October 19, 2005

Next month’s Jenny Vaudeville Show is shaping up nicely. After Molly Crabapple ate fire, how could I possibly up the ante?

A.V. Phibes has the answer to that question. On November 9th at Pete’s Candy Store, she will eat glass.

Spelling Finals October 17, 2005

October 19, 2005

The finals Monday night were a blast. bobbyblue’s band, …y las flores, opened the bee with the Williamsburg Spelling Bee theme song, and even German Public Radio was there to get a piece of the action.

Our winners were…

1st place – Josh Malamy
2nd place – Liane Yee
3rd place – Megan Rudesill

Season winner Josh won tickets to Bingo: The Musical, a $100 cash prize, a Neighborhoodies package, and — the most stylish prize of the night — a retro phone headset that plugs into a cell phone, donated by CITE (the store for which our very own bobbyblue is the buyer!)

Next bee: Monday, November 14, 7:30, Pete’s! (And then every alternate Monday thereafter!)

Photos by Brian Van (

you could make a recruiter’s day

October 19, 2005

I’m doing a show December 10 at the Fort Hamilton Army Base. If you’re not yet in the service, it’s not too late!

my bank can’t spell

October 19, 2005

actual screen shot, 10/19/05, 12:25am

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