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The luxury of not caring what time it is

April 28, 2008

Someone once said that the ultimate luxury in a Manhattan apartment is simply empty space. It’s not the objets d’art or the furniture; it’s the clean, empty surfaces and elegant expanses in between the furniture.

Someone has now (rather cheekily, I think) invented a $300,000 watch that doesn’t tell the time. Because, as Romain Jerome says, ” An avant-garde approach, that is different and even disturbing. Surely the ultimate luxury would be to take one’s time?”

Next: a trash can that won’t hold trash — because everything you touch is fucking gold.

This Wednesday: Win Boozes of the World

April 27, 2008

By which I mean that the prizes for the Geography Bee do, in fact, consist of Boozes of the World.Come! Don’t be intimidated by the geography thing — co-host Meg and I are keeping it pretty sane and general-knowledge. Two girls spinning a globe and distributing liquor? Fun!

Video from Chelsea Mind Games

April 25, 2008

why panda meat is so expensive

April 24, 2008

My friend Megan’s brother took these photos in a zoo in China.

Chelsea Mind Games is every Wednesday henceforth!

April 24, 2008

Photos by Brian Van of last night’s Chelsea Mind Games Vocabulary Bee, co-hosted by Jonathan Lill. 

 Click here for more.

my new show is a TimeOut pick!

April 22, 2008

Wednesday, April 23rd: first-ever Vocabulary Tournament!

April 22, 2008

For those of you who find it easier to make your way to events in Manhattan…

For those of you who always balked at coming along to a spelling bee…

I now present the first-ever Vocabulary Tournament at Chelsea Market!

This Wednesday, April 23rd

Chelsea Market, 75 9th Ave bet. 15th and 16th
(In the main area – just walk in the front door and keep walking straight, about halfway through the building – we are situated right in between a beer vendor and an espresso bar)

6:30pm – Articulate Music by vaudevillian Al Duvall
7-8:30 – Vocabulary Tournament – Open to the first 20 signups! Co-hosted by librarian and spelling winner Jonathan Lill.
8:30-9 – The Know-It-All Show
9-10 Closing Set by Al Duvall

The Vocabulary Tournament will consist of a mix of synonyms questions (Which word means ‘talkative’?, followed by four options), themed questions (How many babies = septuplets? What anniversary is a vigentennial?), and opportunities to define words or use them in a sentence in a manner either correct, or humorous, or both. All are welcome (open to first 20 signups).

“The Know-It-All Show,” in which an “expert” is interviewed on some thing we all might learn to do ourselves — this week, burlesque illustrator Molly Crabapple will teach us all “how to draw the female figure.” There will be a live model.

Come, resplendent in your pulchritude and alacrity!

the breakfast of champions: verbs

April 18, 2008

Courtesy of the other Jennifer Dziura…

Mercer for President 2008

“This guy eats verb tenses for breakfast!”

Three Things I Learned the Hard Way

April 18, 2008

Abbi Crutchfield has blog-tagged me, which apparently indicates a request that I address the topic of “Three Things I Learned the Hard Way” (here is Abbi’s list, complete with childhood anecdotes). Mine is much more compact:

Three Things I Learned the Hard Way

1. Foolproof business models: buy objects in bulk, sell them individually for more; provide personal services to the wealthy; give seminars that people think will help them become rich. Bad business models: lots of other stuff; disposable socks; my first company.

2. The comedy world is much like dating: if you seem needy, no one wants you; if you seem in demand, everyone wants you.

3. Screw the environment, the plastic applicators are worth it.

“Is Barack Obama the new Rocky Balboa?”

April 17, 2008

Whoa. Of course Rocky lost, mind you, but this video is still amazing!

Iraq War sesquipedalianism

April 15, 2008

Dick Cavett is a national treasure.

Here, he takes on the atrocious misuse of language by Iraq War orchestrators Petraeus and Crocker.

Quoth Cavett, “I find it painful to watch this team of two straight men, straining on the potty of language.”

BCAT and the Spelling Bee make the news!

April 14, 2008

I’m in the Brooklyn Paper … dressed as Wonder Woman.

Eye ‘Candy’, by Adam Rathe, 4/12/08

The Williamsburg Spelling Bee is also featured on NYC24, in this cool multimedia story:

Nerdy Games Rock Bars, by Lisa Biagiotti


April 13, 2008

Those of you who remember that My Mom REALLY likes panda bears might enjoy this panda bear bikini:

Although I can only imagine the level of harassment this might engender.

Hey, does your ass eat bamboo?

Zookeeper says back that azz up!

Has your ass forgotten how to mate? Because I’ve been sent all the way from China to remind it.

Obamarama: Spike Lee on Obama

April 7, 2008

From NYMag:

What do you think of Obama?
I’m riding my man Obama. I think he’s a visionary. Actually, Barack told me the first date he took Michelle to was Do the Right Thing. I said, “Thank God I made it. Otherwise you would have taken her to Soul Man. Michelle would have been like, ‘What’s wrong with this brother?’?”Does this mean you’re down on the Clintons?
The Clintons, man, they would lie on a stack of Bibles. Snipers? That’s not misspeaking; that’s some pure bullshit. I voted for Clinton twice, but that’s over with. These old black politicians say, “Ooh, Massuh Clinton was good to us, massuh hired a lot of us, massuh was good!” Hoo! Charlie Rangel, David Dinkins—they have to understand this is a new day. People ain’t feelin’ that stuff. It’s like a tide, and the people who get in the way are just gonna get swept out into the ocean.