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People magazine Photoshopped out Michael Phelps’ penis

August 27, 2008

In the August 15th post Man Candy, I expressed the hotness of this photo of French gymnast Benoit Caranobe, and then was exhorted by my own mother to acknowledge the hotness of Michael Phelps (who has a bit of what Fergie’s got — it’s all great below the neck, at least), which prompted me to go looking for photos, which prompted me to notice Michael Phelps’ penis in this one, which prompted me to note that I’m about to be the top Google hit for the phrase “Michael Phelps’ penis,” despite my real ambivalence about the subject.


I have since noticed that People magazine has used this photo in a two-page spread about how Phelps has the perfect Olympic champion swimmer’s body, right down to his giant feet and double jointed ankles that “turn those dogs into flippers.” Oh, and they Photoshopped out the penis.



You read it here first, folks. Possibly after Googling “Michael Phelps’ penis.” You pervert.

Update: Here’s some speculation about Phelps’ penis size related to his shoe size. Also, apparently there is an entire website dedicated to VPL — Visible Penis Line.


32 Responses to “People magazine Photoshopped out Michael Phelps’ penis”

  1. Vicki (Jen's Mom) on August 27th, 2008 7:26 pm

    The anatomy of a public champion does not include private parts ???

  2. Kenny on August 28th, 2008 3:15 pm

    Y’know if I wanted to look at penis on the internet, there are other places I could go. Wait, what? No. What?

  3. Brian Dziura on August 29th, 2008 5:17 am

    I hate it when they photoshop my penis out of pictures. I mean, you go through all the effort of whipping it out on yearbook picture day, and it doesn’t even make it into the book.

    My penis has been photoshopped out of so many pictures that next year’s version will have a “Remove Brian’s penis from photo” button right on the tool bar.

    Haha…. “Tool Bar”…… hahahaha.


  4. John G. on August 29th, 2008 5:41 am

    A quick check of your Google score shows you in 15th place for that particular phrase. Keep up the good work.

  5. hoverFrog on August 29th, 2008 10:56 am

    I see he likes eggs for breakfast. Two large ones.

    I bet he enjoys roast chicken too, maybe not just roasted. I understand you can prepare cock in any number of different ways.

  6. Dave O'Gara on September 4th, 2008 1:22 am

    “Ask a bunch of scientist to create the perfect swimming machine and you’d wind up with a fish.”

  7. Whit Matthews on September 9th, 2008 2:48 am

    thanks for the source images for my little chop…. notice the caption off his left hip

  8. S. on September 11th, 2008 10:19 am

    I came here looking for his penis size. I work for answering questions and people just want to know!

  9. Elizabeth Plaid on October 20th, 2008 11:38 pm

    Yes, I did google that phrase. Cooincidentally, the Rosetta Stone ad is on tv. :D

  10. Billy Bob Joel on November 2nd, 2008 9:27 pm

    Yeah my girlfriend thinks he is so hot but yet he is smaller than I am and he is uncut it looks like.

  11. Indiana University and UPR Partnership in the News | My Sex Professor: Sexuality Education on December 9th, 2008 11:01 am

    [...] somewhat non-human chest. I wonder if Michael Phelps felt this way when People magazine supposedly photoshopped his penis out of their photos. It’s kind of awkward to think that someone was sitting there with [...]

  12. Alex on December 25th, 2008 7:15 am

    Looks like he’s uncircumcised.

    I can tell… I think. That or I’m looking at it too much.

  13. Danni on January 6th, 2009 2:08 pm

    Hmmmm, I don’t think it’s photoshopped, I think he just has a willie that is extremely disproportionate to the rest of his body. ie, a wiener.

  14. yoyo on January 16th, 2009 7:35 am

    wow! michael is sooo hot! i want 2 meet him! i want 2 hav sex with him! i want 2 hav sex with him every night! i lov his hot body! i lov his long, big, sexy, hairy penis! i want 2 hav sex with michael phelps! i want 2 insert michael phelps’ penis into my mouth! i want 2 drink his semen & sperm! i wonder how fast can his sperm swim? is it as fast as him? plez…. plez let me hav sex with him! i can’t control myself, i always remember of him! his hotness, sexyness… michael is a sex symbol!!! i’m sure every woman want 2 hav sex with him! i want 2 touch his penis! i lov his penis, nipples, chest, lips, bladder…. hav he sex b4? with who? was it amazing?

  15. David on February 2nd, 2009 7:14 am

    Michael Phelps is gorgeous. He is just yummy looking in every way and that bulge is something to lick your lips over! Absolutely delicious.

  16. jen on February 2nd, 2009 5:18 pm

    Man, every time someone says something like “lick your lips over,” I have to click “I approve” to post their comment. And I’m not so sure I do approve….

    Besides, I’ll bet it just tastes like chlorine.

  17. Tom Sullivan on February 26th, 2009 11:35 pm

    HA! Brian you’re a RIOT, bro!
    Dude; of course he’s hung; he’s a big hot young athlete, with those genetics!@ Props to YOU Michael; wave it all around like Ya jes don’t care! Wish you were bi- bro; we’d have a blast!
    Don’t every body get your panties in a wad. Men are sexual beings with penises, get over it!
    By the way congrats on beating the weed bust. What a f-in’ loser whoever took that pic and sold it. He should get his ass beat!
    Props to you Michael, Grrr! :)

  18. DW on March 30th, 2009 11:21 pm

    Grow up, America.

  19. taniela on July 31st, 2009 5:04 pm

    well first of i would say that this guy is a famous guy who wants to hide his PRIVATE PART because that’s human nature:L:L:L:L:L:L:L:L:L:L:L:L:L:L:L::L:

  20. taniela on July 31st, 2009 5:06 pm

    well first of all i would say that this guy is a famous guy who wants to hide his PRIVATE PART because that’s human nature

  21. Krysta on November 26th, 2009 9:16 pm

    LOL no choice buy no undergarment and to strategically pose it in an upward position.

  22. Favo on January 7th, 2010 1:44 am

    This Michael Phelps posture reminds me of Vitruvian Man by Leonardo Da Vinci

  23. People Magazine Stole Beyonce’s Thighs | Jen Is Famous on January 14th, 2010 3:45 am

    [...] it’s no People magazine Photoshopped out Michael Phelps’ penis (still by far the most popular page on this blog), but People magazine stole Beyonce’s [...]

  24. Me! on February 15th, 2010 6:38 am

    OMG! He has to be over 10 inches. He is uncircumcised. If he was that thing would of ripped the speedo! I wonder who else he has had sex with?!?!?! I want him so bad. Jen, your probably right with all it would probably taste like is chlorine! I want to suck him dry. Looking at it in the speedo isn’t enough. He mist be fully undressed in that same stance. Everyone says his face is ugly! I think otherwise! They just say that because they are ugly! His face is magnificint! His whole body is perfect. God created him for a special person and we probably will find out who that is. He is perfect all around and he is just drop dead gorgeous. That’s all I have to say about this piece of work. Does anyone know where there are some actual naked pictures? If so please tell me!

  25. ho on June 14th, 2010 6:42 pm


  26. alain on June 15th, 2010 12:46 pm

    i would like to give him a good blow-job

  27. madeline on November 19th, 2010 12:02 pm

    actually I googled penis face and this came up XD god bless the internet! :D

  28. alain on November 22nd, 2010 11:04 am

    i would really like to give that stick a blow

    alain , copenhagen
    phone 38 71 00 91

  29. Jennifer on October 9th, 2011 1:02 pm

    [...] Don’t you know that articles get more pageviews when you put celebrities’ names in the titles? The most popular post, ever, by far, on this blog is this one: People magazine Photoshopped out Michael Phelps’ penis. [...]

  30. jennifer on February 21st, 2012 8:12 pm

    kinda small

  31. joe on June 26th, 2012 7:18 am

    @jennifer yep, kinda small but its flaccid. That said, mine flaccid is way smaller, tiny!

  32. brian on November 21st, 2012 2:59 pm

    It doesn’t matter if he is ugly because you can’t see his face when your face is in his crotch sucking him off.he is big enough to give it to you doggy style so you won’t see his face.I think a guy starts to look better when they are hung like a horse.Ugly guys with small dicks can’t get laid untill they get rich and hire guys with big dicks to satisfy his women when he isn’t there

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