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Man-Pageant Results and Photos

December 8, 2008

Welcome to the most delicious night of my life! Flickr photoset here.

The judges were on their marks — allow me to present:

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Winner Nick Tong!

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From Twanna – Madame X (and Gabe going in).

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Look at me, drinking moderately and keeping my organic lipstick fresh.

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Bon-Bon Boy Zack can now add “professional flirter” to his modeling resume.

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Orion’s such a cutie!

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From Twanna – The Official Ballot!

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From Twanna – I’m satiny.

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With my college friends Jamie and Cara.

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The talent round: Roosevelt’s fists move like lightning! Intense!

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The hair! The satin pants! Gabe says he got them on eBay.

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Dave gets the comedy seal of approval.

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Michael’s barely breathing… others are breathing heavily.

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When Moises gets that feeling, he wants … sexual healing.

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Nick sings “Blue Christmas,” sounding remarkably Elvis-like, with a vibrato that prompted massive swooning. I was doing some official business at the back of the party when Nick started singing, and I actually said “Oh, my god!” and pushed through the crowd to get closer to the stage.

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Foot massages for all the ladies!

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Members of our esteemed judging pool, plus friends!

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You WILL cuddle with Papi Shank, and it will be the most hardcore cuddle you have ever had.

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Davon and his tiny dog are extremely cuddly.

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Hipster hottie Gabriel takes it off, as Abbi looks alarmed!

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Nice abs!

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Dave was demonstrating his skill of never missing anything on the grocery list. Romantic!

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This is so cute I could die. He looks like he is ready to cuddle RIGHT NOW, competition be damned.

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Oh, Lorenzo — this poet has spent some time in the gym!

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Nick contemplates, as a horde of hungry women demand that he take his shirt off.

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Suspense…

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The sound of forty women’s bodies simultaneously producing physiological responses designed to promote the continuance of the species.

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From Twanna – Wow, this group shot got intense! I was pulled in at the last second — there I am on Michael’s lap.

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After “Happy Birthday” is sung, I make a heartfelt, slightly tipsy speech about how I moved to New York five years ago with $400 in my pocket, and now there’s a Man-Pageant. I apparently said something about women echolocating like dolphins towards the sexy.

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Oh, how I pontificate! Actually, everyone wanted to know where I found the guys. Craigslist.

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Time for the winners! Davon Livingston is crowned “Mr. Cuddly.”

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Dave Lester is runner-up! Abbi says “It’s looking very chocolate up here!”

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And, in a clean sweep (winning with — I’m not joking — 69 points), Nick Tong wins! He gets $200 and our adoration. Revelry ensues!

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Abbi refers to Nick as “honorary chocolate.”

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The winners! Dave waves like Queen Elizabeth.

That’s it! Massive thanks to emcee Abbi Crutchfield, Syd and Eve, our judges, Twanna for all the blog and photo coverage, and, of course, Roosevelt, Moises, Lorenzo, Davon, Michael, Dave, Gabriel, and Nick!

See you next year — schedules permitting, Nick will be back to crown the new winner. I’ll see if I can get him to reprise “Blue Christmas.”

Comments

4 Responses to “Man-Pageant Results and Photos”

  1. bobvis on December 8th, 2008 2:00 pm

    I was doing some official business at the back of the party when Nick started singing

    Um, what “official business”?

  2. What I Learned About Men This Month | Jen Is Famous on December 15th, 2008 2:39 am

    [...] know, when you go inviting people to a Man-Pageant, you learn a lot about men.  Specifically, the men who send notice of their non-attendance because [...]

  3. Bullish Life Fashion Week Edition: What Modeling Taught Me About Men, Money, and Life on February 14th, 2012 3:55 pm

    [...] I learned a few things from these experiences. As I later confirmed when I held a male beauty pageant in a bar to celebrate my thirtieth birthday, anyone with $2,000 and access to Craigslist is [...]

  4. Bullish: How To Run Your Career Like A Gentlewoman : GetBullish on July 22nd, 2012 11:44 am

    [...] I celebrated my thirtieth birthday by holding a male beauty pageant in a bar (photos here and here.) Why? Because I can. I rented the space, put up a $200 prize, ordered satin sashes from a pageant [...]

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