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Bullish Life: Is Dating Dead?

October 11, 2012


Apparently, dating is dead. Except that I’ve been on hundreds of dates, and so have many of you.

It’s kind of like saying that sushi is dead. I mean, a lot of people don’t eat sushi. But you can still totally get some if you want. More »

Bullish: How To Reduce (Un-) Productivity Guilt

October 5, 2012



Practically every woman I know lives in a state of near-constant guilt for not getting enough done.

Of course, I have ambitious friends.

When you look for advice on a problem like this, your ambitious friends typically say, “Me, too!” and sometimes try to compete with you about who is the most behind on their goals.
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Bullish Life: Hanging Out With People In Real Life Is Now Like Herding Cats. Cats That Suck.

October 4, 2012

Check out this question from a reader I’ve named Tai after the new girl in the 1995 classic Clueless.
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Bullish: How Formal Should You Be At Work? (XOXO LOL!)

October 4, 2012


I live near Wall Street, where we get a lot of tourists, especially Europeans.

We have old Dutch buildings, Federal Hall, and, of course, the Wall Street Bull, which bears some responsibility for the fact that this column is called “Bullish.”
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Bullish Life: What Does It Mean To Be An Adult In The Modern Age?

October 4, 2012


I have been informed that Jennifer Wright is giving up caffeine as a way to become more adult.

I don’t understand this, and fortunately I don’t work in the offices, so she can’t punch me (not that she’ll have the energy to, considering the lack of caffeine). Subsisting on only black coffee, croissants, and cigarettes seems very adult to me, if obviously unhealthy (see the Jean-Paul Sartre cookbook), because “healthy” is really not the same as “adult.” More »

Bullish: The Things I Was Trying To Say To The Women Of Dartmouth Before I Passed Out

October 4, 2012


This past Monday, I was the keynote speaker at Dartmouth College’s Words of Wisdom event for first-year women.

This is a thing I do. I give speeches. I have spoken at other universities, performed standup comedy for the U.S. troops in the Middle East (for audiences of 800 armed men sitting at picnic tables in the middle of the Kuwaiti desert!), and even taught public speaking to convicts in a Vermont prison.

I have read the statistics that most people are more afraid of public speaking than of death, and I’ve always been a bit smug about it. Public speaking is no big deal!
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September 18: ¡The Punctuation Show! (How to Use Tiny Symbols to Make Meaning Without %$^&#* Up) appears in the Brooklyn Book Festival

September 10, 2012

¡The Punctuation Show! (How to Use Tiny Symbols to Make Meaning Without %$^&#* Up)

Do you know your colon from your semicolon? Enjoy a fun-filled (and pun-filled) romp through the major punctuation marks, those that never quite took off and some unorthodox uses of punctuation. Pedantic humorist Jennifer Dziura (co-host of the Williamsburg Spelling Bee) makes those tiny symbols on the printed page mean more than you ever imagined.

Location: JACK, 505 ½ Waverly Avenue (between Fulton Street and Atlantic Avenue)

Time: 8:00 pm

Price: $5 suggested donation to benefit Women’s Education Project

Website: www.jackny.org

Go here for the schedule of all Bookend Events in the Brooklyn Book Festival.

Previous Posts:
I Punctuated the %^&# Out of Geek Week
Photos from the Punctuation Show at Palm Beach State

Bullish: How to Recover From Career Stagnation And Plan An Awesome Life

September 10, 2012

Today, we have a letter from someone who feels she’s planning her professional life a little later than would have been ideal.

My position is that it’s never too late to get bullish. Especially if you’re still healthy, energetic, and don’t have three kids or tens of thousands of dollars in debt. More »

Bullish: What Men Need to Know About Negotiating With Women

September 10, 2012

There are lots of books out there intended to help women negotiate with men, by being like men or at least understanding them.

But some nonzero number of men out there could use advice on negotiating with women. I can help. More »

Bullish: When Guys Just Want to Be Friends

September 10, 2012

I’m not a dating expert so much as someone who writes a lot of advice about standing up for yourself and getting the things that you want. I probably can’t tell you how to attract men in the first place, but I have a hell of a lot to say about conducting yourself once you’re in demand. More »

Bullish: How To Sell Yourself As An Expert

September 10, 2012

I have often written that establishing expertise – preferably in something objective and quantifiable – is an excellent way to make money, to bypass sexism and other forms of discrimination, and to get ahead when you’re young and maintain a thriving career when you’re old. (See Bullish: Tech Skills Are Not Optional for Your Career.)

But now that J.K. Capote-Snicket has done this, how do we turn it – in a gentlewomanly manner – into cold, hard cash? More »

Bullish Life: The Glass Will at Some Point Be Half-Full. Of Cancer or Tiger Attacks.

September 10, 2012

The glass-half-empty-or-full dichotomy never really expressed the issue for me. If you’re all like, “I am very grateful for this half-cup of water,” you are less likely to get off your ass and turn on a fucking faucet. More »

Bullish: A Metaphor About Shoe Shopping That Is 100% Relevant To Hard-Nosed Business Thinking

September 10, 2012

A friend of mine was recently pretty upset about losing money.

Julie bought her own apartment a few years ago, and is now moving to a new city. Since it’s a bad time to sell, she decided to rent the place out. Since she’ll be in a new city, she contracted with a management company to find a tenant. The management company wanted renovations. She hired a contractor.

Then, things started going wrong.
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Retro Photo

September 10, 2012

This is me, along with fellow comedians Laura Rosenberg and Christina Lopez, shooting a fake gun used in combat training exercises.

This all took place during our 2007 Armed Forces Entertainment tour to Kuwait, Bahrain, Qatar, and Djibouti. Here’s my original post about it.

Punctuation Discrimination: Citibank is Not Currently Accepting Commas

August 20, 2012

This is a screenshot I took from the “Contact Us” section of Citibank’s online account manager. I tried several times to send my message, but kept receiving the same error message, despite the non-usage of “special characters.”

Finally, I simply removed all punctuation from my message and was able to send it. This cannot stand!

Previous punctuation discrimination incident here.

Oh, and also: I will be performing ¡The Punctuation Show! (How to Use Tiny Symbols to Make Meaning Without %$^&#* Up) at the Brooklyn Book Festival on September 18th. Details coming soon — save the date! You know, if you’re into that kind of thing.

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